Useful information about anger

Anger is a normal human emotion.  It tells us something about what’s happening to us.

We can learn how to manage our anger

There are four main reasons why most people get angry:

  • they feel insulted
  • they feel treated unjustly
  • they feel powerless/not in control of a situation
  • they feel unable to do what is asked of them/not competent enough

The feeling of anger can hide other feelings: e.g. hurt; fear; jealousy; shame; guilt; disappointment and loneliness.
Your body gives warning signs that your anger is increasing: faster breathing; increased heart rate; dry mouth; clenched hands; tense muscles; headache; sweating; shaking; difficulty thinking.

Anger is part of the ‘fight or flight’ response and adrenaline is released into the bloodstream. When we become angry we have a choice about how we respond:

Escape   Express   Explode

Anger can be released by journaling; vigorous exercise; relaxation; or talking about it with somebody else.

You can communicate that you are angry, and why.  e.g.  “I feel angry when you ignore me.  I need you to listen to what I’m saying.  My opinion counts.”

Different words to describe degrees of anger are: irritated; annoyed; bothered; exasperated; mad; incensed; furious.

  • First aid for anger has 4 steps:
  • Stop.  Recognise that you are angry.
  • Break.  Remove yourself physically, or mentally distance yourself, from the situation.  (Breathing, counting to ten, splashing your face, distraction)
  • Think.  Find a handle for your anger (a word or image).  What is it that I am angry at?  How can I respond?
  • Respond.  You are in control.  If you react your anger is in control.